Top tips for going on holiday with adopted children

Going on holiday with an adopted child—especially for the first time—can be a joyful but emotionally complex experience. Here are our team’s top tips to help make the experience smoother, more secure, and enjoyable for everyone involved…

Prepare them in advance

• Talk about the trip early: Give your child time to mentally and emotionally prepare.
• Visual aids: Use maps, photos, or books about the destination.
• Create a schedule: A visual itinerary can help them feel more secure.

Stick to routine where possible

• Familiar routines reduce anxiety: Try to keep mealtimes, bedtime rituals, and snacks similar to home life.
• Bring familiar objects: A favourite blanket, stuffed animal, or bedtime story can be grounding.

Be trauma-informed

• Unfamiliar places can trigger past fears: Crowds, airports, or being away from “home” may stir up feelings of abandonment or fear.
• Watch for signs of distress: Meltdowns, withdrawal, or regressive behavior may be coping mechanisms.

Avoid surprises

• Let them know what’s happening next: Even fun surprises can cause anxiety if they feel out of control.
• Offer choices when possible: This builds trust and gives a sense of control (eg “Do you want to swim or play mini-golf after lunch?”).

Manage expectations

• Keep it low-key: Especially if it’s the first holiday together, avoid over-scheduling or exotic destinations.
• Be ready to cut plans short: Emotional needs come before activities.

Safety first

• Have ID on them: Include your contact details in their pocket or a bracelet in case you get separated.
• Teach them what to do if they get lost.

 Respect their story

• Avoid intrusive questions from strangers: Be ready with polite responses to nosy comments about adoption.
• Let them set the pace: Don’t push them to bond more deeply just because you’re on holiday.

Build in regulation time

• Quiet, calm spaces are essential: Have downtime daily to prevent overwhelm.
• Use calming techniques you already know work (music, sensory toys, breathing games).

Include them in planning

• Let them help choose a restaurant, an activity, or what to pack.
• This builds trust and gives them a sense of agency.

Focus on connection not perfection

• Your main goal is relationship-building, not ticking off attractions.
• Be emotionally available: Listen, validate feelings, and be patient with big emotions

Age-Specific Tips & Needs

Toddlers (0–4 years)

Before the trip
✅ Talk through what’s happening using simple language and picture books
✅ Practice short separations or overnight stays if they’re new to holidays
✅ Pack favourite comfort items (blanket, soft toy, dummy)
✅ Stickers, books and toys for sensory regulation

During the trip
✅ Stick to routines: nap, bedtime, snacks
✅ Build in sensory breaks (quiet walks, cuddle time)
✅ Avoid overstimulation: keep activities short and familiar
✅ Be ready to carry or soothe more than usual

School-Age Children (5–11 years)

Before the trip
✅ Show pictures of where you’re going
✅ Create a child-friendly itinerary with them
✅ Role-play airport/hotel check-in scenarios
✅ Talk about possible feelings—excitement and worries

Pack together
✅ Security item (stuffed animal, photo album)
✅ Regulation tools (fidget toys, headphones, favorite snacks)
✅ ID card with your name and contact info

During the trip
✅ Offer choices: “Beach or pool today?”
✅ Stick to familiar routines when possible
✅ Use a visual daily plan
✅ Be patient if they act younger or become clingy

Teens (12–18 years)

Before the trip
✅ Involve them in planning: let them research or suggest activities
✅ Discuss expectations, independence, and safety rules
✅ Talk about how being away might bring up adoption-related feelings
✅ Normalize if they’re “not into it” emotionally—it’s not rejection

Pack together
✅ Journal or phone app to track feelings
✅ Headphones, music, or podcasts they like
✅ ID and emergency contact card
✅ Favourite hoodie or familiar clothing

During the trip
✅ Respect privacy while staying emotionally available
✅ Offer time alone and time together
✅ Be open to deep conversations—but don’t force them
✅ Validate feelings of discomfort or awkwardness

General emotional preparation (all ages)

✅ Let them know: “You are safe. We’re together.”
✅ Keep routines stable wherever possible
✅ Watch for triggers and signs of dysregulation
✅ Take breaks when needed, without guilt
✅ Celebrate small wins (e.g., trying something new, opening up, having fun)